Tag Archives: Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh Kama Sutra Audio Book.

It’s a dreary Friday and I thought I’d throw this together. It’s sucky in some places but it’s ok in others. I can’t do any better on a dreary Friday.

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Come into my arms.

Always keep a browser window with Snopes.com open.

Still not sure how I feel about Bait Car, although I am amused. The same way To Catch A Predator amused me. Am I repeating myself?

I love this guy.

And this girl:

One of those songs where I can only imagine how it felt to hear it in the complete form for the first time in a big studio. What an amazing production. Wish I were gay. Damn.  Did you know Donna Summer was the first and only  artist of the vinyl area to go to #1 with three consecutive double albums? Why don’t I have more friends?

Working on perfecting the podcast. I have to ask advice from some of my favorite producers. This week.

Happy birthday Iggy Pop. Does Jim Rome know that he uses your biggest drug-based hit as theme music? Why do old bastards like Jim Rome, Ed Schulz and Rush Limbaugh use such inappropriately subversive theme music?

Here comes Johnny Yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And a flesh machine
He’s gonna do another strip tease

Hey man, where’d y’get that lotion?
I’ve been hurting since I’m up again
About something called love
Yeah, something called love
Well, that’s like hypnotizing chickens

Well, I’m just a modern guy
Of course, I’ve had it in the ear before
I have a lust for life
‘Cause I’ve a lust for life

I’m worth a million in prizes
With my torture film
Drive a GTO
Wear a uniform
All on a government loan

I’m worth a million in prizes
Yeah, I’m through with sleeping on the sidewalk
No more beating my brains
No more beating my brains
With liquor and drugs
With liquor and drugs

Well, I’m just a modern guy
Of course, I’ve had it in the ear before
Well, I’ve a lust for life
‘Cause of a lust for life
I got a lust for life
Got a lust for life
Oh, a lust for life
Oh, a lust for life
A lust for life
I got a lust for life
Got a lust for life

Well, I’m just a modern guy
Of course, I’ve had it in my ear before
Well, I’ve a lust for life
‘Cause I’ve a lust for life

Well, here comes Johnny Yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And a flesh machine
I know he’s gonna do another strip tease

Hey man, where’d y’get that lotion?
Your skin starts itching once you buy the gimmick
About something called love
Love, love, love
Well, that’s like hypnotizing chickens

Well, I’m just a modern guy
Of course, I’ve had it in the ear before
And I’ve a lust for life
‘Cause I’ve a lust for life
Got a lust for life
Yeah, a lust for life
I got a lust for life
A lust for life
Got a lust for life
Yeah, a lust for life
I got a lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life

If I didn’t before, I’d like to once again point to my big shining moment as a published writer….almost a decade ago. A decade ago, I thought that the moment that the check arrived meant easy riches or at least literary respect and a humble but irrefutable success. I was wrong. Boy howdy was I wrong. And the ironic thing about it was that by writing this article I not only alienated everyone with whom I worked at the time (I used fake names but come on) but I couldn’t even really use it as a calling card to potential employers because of what the article itself betrayed about me and the lengths I would go to assure my sanity. Having said that, there was a shining moment before any of this shameful self-promotion during which I was a “writer”. I hope you like it.

 

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Rapper/Author Taboo

I’m definitely DVR’ing the Wendy Williams show tomorrow. The USA Today lists her guest as “Rapper/Author Taboo of Black Eyed Peas”.

Keeping it...real...

I hate hate hate the whole conceit of this “band”. The same conceit of Rush Limbaugh and Bon Jovi and VH1. It is this: People are stupid and will remain stupid for the foreseeable future. So let us make as much money off of these gullible fools as we can.” Instead of, you know, elevating the art or the discussion or whatever.

This is what the end of the world will look like. “I’m so 2008, you so 2000 and late…” HA!! Burn. At 3:50, after the one and only Slash comes out, you’ll notice the Duchess misses her pre-taped vocal-cue. Why bother? Then she starts to swayin’ like Axl used to do. Why bother?

This is what the end of the world looks like. Pomp, followed by concussions, followed by pre-taped mass choreography (sort of a cult of personality/commercialism) like they do the do in North Korea and shit. Watch the dancers and juxtapose with goose-stepping Nazis. See, Roger Waters was a fucking smart man. He saw this coming. He had seen it with his own eyes.

Followed by more concussions, then the emperor stands at the edge of the luxury boxes and offers up pollice verso to a waiting world, wondering not what it had just seen, but how many others have seen it too. Was it a success? Who cares? There’s fuckin’ SLASH!!!!!

I bet Slash couldn’t play THIS solo. I love this song, and always have. I think it’s a Marimba or it might be a vibraphone. Don’t care. One hit wonders, it’s still 1000x better than what all that money bought.

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Some day…

Some day I will find the appropriate time and place and audience to bust out my literally perfect impersonation of Frank Sinatra singing a swingin’ version of “Jungle Fever“, as well as my wonderful soliloquy as Rush Limbaugh describing his experiences as a summer camp doormat. But alas.

I’ve written, more or less, two one-man shows. I pitched one to the folks at a local theater and they haven’t gotten back to me yet. I think it would be hilarious, but does anyone really care about Clay Aiken anymore?  The show was called “Call Me Clay” and it dealt with a young tough who acts out violently at everyone and everything until he discovers high school theater. The tag line on the poster was to be “We called him Clay, yet HE molded US…”

The other one is about Rush Limbaugh and his struggle to maintain his sanity and his love life while pretending to the rest of the world to be a right-wing asshole of mammoth proportions. The airport inspection scene is not to be missed. Musical numbers, a love affair with his Guatemalan mistress, etc.etc. All copy-written, all ready to go at one time.

My point is that I’ve got a lot more stuff I want to do but it’s hard to take that first step, ya know.

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