Tag Archives: Chicago

Why I don’t have any friends.

This song kicks ass. It never fails to make me feel better. To get me out of a funk. It’s positive, interesting, driving, and wonderfully sung by the great Peter Cetera.

If you listen closely, at about 3:02, the backing vocalists sing “Jumping Jack Flash is a gas gas gas…” I have known this for years, but I thought it was just a one-time gag for whatever reason. HOWEVER, and I just noticed this today while in the car, at 3:12, Robert Lamm plays the main riff to “Satisfaction” on the Fender Rhodes keyboard. Then he does it again next time around. WHY?

All I can tell you is that noticing shit like this is…unnatural and almost useless.

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What is this power you speak of?


1. If you don’t take it every morning, if you miss one day, there’s no recourse but to ride out the nightmares. There’s speed in those pills.  Last night I dreamed that I murdered someone, their head simmering in a vat of acid, but they could still speak. “Are you dead, yet?” I asked, and they tried to get out a “no” as their last discorporated gasp filled my lungs. I was then tasked with removing the part that wouldn’t melt, their life-mask. I threw it in the yard, but as the police sirens squealed their warning from one street over, I recovered the moist facade from a leaf pile and attempted to chuck it deeper into the woods. They came and took me. They knew.

2. The #1 word people use to find this site without looking for it is “meth”. Because of this. I did cocaine once. I did LSD once. I used to WANT to get high but I’ve never been high. I choked on the smoke, too harsh for me. A friend asked me once if I wanted to meet him for a “drop”. I said HELL YES!!! it would have been $500. This was back in 1980 or so. But that call never came. I wonder what happened to the guy. Maybe he’s on Facebook. Let’s see. Nope. No “Rip Taylor”. “Rip”. Heh. I’m too deeply in love with my own crippled consciousness (it’s a trampled id, but it’s MY id) to alter it in any way.

3. I have never seen “Star Wars”. None of ’em. Just didn’t happen.

4. Rebekah Brooks, Rupert Murdoch, John Boehner, Rush Limbaugh, Rhianna, Kanye, Jon Bon Jovi, Mitt Romney, Mariah Carey, Bill O’Reilly, Stuart Scott and Chris Berman of ESPN, Joe Arpaio, Michelle Bachmann, Eric Cantor: I know you don’t read my blog, but if you ever Google yourselves and somehow land here, I want you to know what peace there will be in sleepy dreams of afterlife. I am aware that your struggle to be assholes and usurpers of the public trust, air-time, radio time, etc. is a difficult one. I want you to taste the sweet, sweet sting of redemption that only the brave know, that of the fallen soldier, the still-born child, the bewildered senior. All in Heaven, eating grapes and shit. I implore you: take the road to immortality. I’m calling on you to put the business end of a firearm in your mouth and fire. Know the absolute freedom there can be in delicious ultimate truth. You will be wrested from your mortal disarray, your sadness. Please. Please. I do not wish you harm. I wish that you take an active role in securing your place at the seat of the Lord. You’ve all led good, full lives. Now is the time to ascend to that golden toilet in the sky. Do it. DO IT!!!!

5. So do you see why the NRA isn’t going to give an inch? Because, as I said, take away one weapon, they think people are gonna come for the next, and the next. There’s big money in stupidity. No one hunts with an assault weapon, or protects their home with one. It’s fear. Look at what has happened to gun sales in the past week, then again after Columbine. Why? Fear. Sadly, no handgun was gonna stop a drugged-out kamikaze with a vest. The problem is the fear. Why are people afraid? Who feeds the fear, and who gains by it?

Who feeds the fear, and who gains by it?

6. I had this amazing bass player lined up for a new band I was starting. Great guy. We knew each other from other bands and stuff but never thought to join forces. So we had our first phone chat.  I told him I was kinda sad because I thought my wife might be cheating on me, I think. He said “Oh no! What makes you think that?” I said “Well, I got home last night, and she wouldn’t make love to me.” “He said ‘Oh, um…you sure that’s her cheating on you?'” to which I responded “She was fast asleep. She wouldn’t even TALK to me…” He said “Well, maybe she was just really tired. I wouldn’t worry.” Then I told him “She called me crazy. Coming home intoxicated…I told her I just wanted to love her….” This went on for a few minutes until it sorta faded of its own will. The next day he called and said we should not work together.

7. If you’re tired of holding up your end of a political discussion with an entrenched ideologue, just use the Terry Kath-sung lyrics to Chicago’s “Dialogue” as your script, and nothing more. Start with “So…are you optimistic about the way that tings are going?” And take it from there. Do not stray from the script. Chances are that your opponent does NOT have a Bachelor of Arts, but that’s ok. it throws ’em off.

8. “Chicago V” is as fine an American pop album as there ever was. No shit. Go listen to it. Those guys should have been in the RRHOF long ago. Listen to the song. If you don’t get chills when Kath sings “…all the needless pain…” you don’t like music. The very height of Robert Lamm’s craft.  And one of the most ferocious guitar players ever.

9. The Swingle Singers, the John Denver/Placido Domingo duet, ABBA, The Carpenters. These are artists who have been presented to me at various times in my life by various people and told, “If you don’t like this, you don’t like music..” and they’re never right. But I am. I am right about Chicago.


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