Category Archives: death

Jazz and Assassins


1. Children make the arduous, terrifying, expensive journey from hundreds of miles away to come to the USA. They immediately give themselves over to the authorities. They face the wrath of sign-waving, epithet-shouting adults who, themselves, benefit from every soul who agrees to do their labor for 1/4 of the price that they would demand. They forget. No one is trying to sneak in, now. They are seeking a form of asylum.

2. The children make this journey why? Because they crave American freedom? No. Because they have witnessed the scene of their teacher back home forced to acquiesce to their removal from class at the behest of a drug cartel “employee” about the same age, and probably under the same frightening “contract” that they are politely being asked to agree to. OR they, if female, have been informed that as soon as they reach puberty they will be someone’s boyfriend. And their parents are terrified. More than you can possibly imagine. But put away your stupid Obama-blaming bullshit. Under an anti-trafficking statute adopted with bipartisan support in 2008, minors from Central America cannot be deported immediately and must be given a court hearing before they are deported. A United States policy allows Mexican minors caught crossing the border to be sent back quickly.

3. The drug cartels are trying to usurp power from elected officials why? Because they are the new center of commerce between manufacturer and customers in the USA.  Because drug trafficking used to go by a different route. But rest assured, there’s almost no way to make money or even hope for a career in Central America unless you’re covered in duct tape and bubble wrap at some point. If your kids were subject to violence, rape and generally horrible, pernicious coercion at every step in their development, you wouldn’t be so quick to blame them for still believing in the American Dream.

4. Because no matter what anyone says, drug use will never abate. It’s not right and it’s not wrong. But it’s never going to stop. But as we know, taking something people want (need) and making recovery difficult and indulgence illegal only makes the market blacker. That’s all it does. Nothing more.

5. Because if drugs were legal everywhere, no black market would exist. This is a humanitarian crisis that Obama is trying to solve. Yes, he’s been a huge disappointment to me and others, but now he’s facing congressional Republicans pushing back, saying that the border crisis is a result of Mr. Obama’s policy problems and lax enforcement at the border. Because they’re either myopic fools or terrified of other people’s freedom. Republican lawmakers are pushing to amend that 2008 law that George Bush shortsightedly signed into law, which currently makes it difficult to return the children quickly to their home countries. Which they would fucking do if there wasn’t a guy with a gun bullying their teacher.

6. Because booze and every other drug should be treated as the same thing, same laws, same safety concerns, same recovery choices.

7. Because booze is ok. But pot isn’t. Because black people were alleged to have liked it. I blame Roosevelt.




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Death By Glee?

Nicola Coviello (1846-1926) was a well-respected cornetist and musical professor who had performed for many dignitaries of his day, including Queen Victoria. Realizing he was at the end of his life, he made one final pilgrimage from London to Saskatchewan to say farewell to his son. On the way he stopped in NYC to say goodbye to his nephews, Peter, Dominic and Daniel.   On June 13, 1926 the young men took their famous uncle to Coney Island to give him a taste of America. All went swimmingly except for the constant blare of the jazz bands. Finally, he could take it no longer. “That isn’t music,” he complained as he fell to the boardwalk. He was pronounced dead a few minutes later. Cause of death was “strain on the heart”.

I wonder if that’s how I’m going to die if I hear the cast of Glee singing “Creep” again.


EDIT: “Being Alive” from the Tony winning “Company” and Crowded House’s “Don’t Dream It’s Over” horribly oversung in the space of 10 minutes. Why? WHY????

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