1. I had a girlfriend who would sing “By The Light of the Silvery Moon”, and when she got to the second line, “…I want to spoon…” she would playfully attack me with a spoon. That song really does it for me.
2. John K. and I palled around briefly in my pre-teens. Once we went to the Valu on Dingens in Buffalo. He stole a pack of playing cards. It made me sick, not only the stealing but the ease with which this 10-year-old boy reconciled this action.
3. It’s sad, but the biggest celebrity I’ve ever met is Davey Boy Smith, one half of the former tag team champion British Bulldogs of the WWF. It was at the Howard Johnsons near the Buffalo International Airport. A Thursday night.
4. We never spayed our cats when I was growing up. They were somewhat feral, actually. They would have litter after litter in our house. Sometimes in the laundry room in the back of the house. Inside, outside, it was all the same. It never occurred to me that cats using your bedroom as a litter box was unnatural. Anyhow, we were too poor to fix the washer/dryer in said room, and in the hot summers, the fleas would take over. Unfortunately, one of the cats’ litters were almost entirely devoured by said fleas. I watched, as a boy, one kitten struggling to climb the stairs into the kitchen, only to stop and expire in the middle of their vain movements. A day later, dry. The next, gone. The memory still haunts me.
5. As you know, I think all drugs should be treated equally under the law. Adults should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as they don’t hurt anyone…without permission. I also believe that guns should be treated like hard-core pornography. If you can’t stock the one on your shelves, you shouldn’t be allowed to stock the other. Follow me? This dude had something tick in his head, and he had legal ammunition. I know the NRA’s philosophy, the same as abortion rights, basically. Afraid that if you make one thing illegal, then it’s a logical next step that’s the scary one. The 2nd amendment didn’t envision guns fast and powerful enough to take out dozens of people in an air conditioned multiplex in a few seconds. Can we all agree that common sense should trump legalese?
I’d be curious to know what motivated this fellow. The cause is usually the thing most easy to treat. Maybe it’s the old stigmata associated with mental illness. Maybe there’s whole hordes of people just like him wandering around, re-establishing the fear. Like the guy who fixed my computer last year. “Are you a believer?” he asked me as he jimmied the external hard drive from its case. “Sure…when will it be ready?” He did a great job. I AM a believer.
6. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no….
7. I leaned in for a kiss. She pulled away. “You smell like cat…” The snow storm that followed meant she would not be coming over to duplicate our ride to the Gold Circle. I don’t remember her name.
9. I know this is viral, but my favorite parts are the facial expressions of the two girls behind her, like two wall flowers at the dance jealous of the free spirit with the spotlight in the middle of the floor. And also “Also to watch will be Wang…” whose pre-race regimen of slapping herself on the thighs (normally a fairly titillating exercise in and of itself) suffers in comparison.