Heit. Heit. HEIT!!!!

This guitar cost $35 new. The coke residue in this guy’s wrist hair is worth more.

It’s not really memory lane. More like “memory alley” or “memory space between buildings you think is a walkway but isn’t”.

One day my mother put an ad in the Penny Saver trying to sell my Heit guitar. The one I bought at Brand Names. No, I think what happened was that a dude put an ad in the Penny Saver LOOKING for Heit Guitars. He was a collector, he said when he came to our house to investigate mine. We believed that someone who collected them should pay more. Someone who valued something I did not value but merely possessed should be punished. I know I wasn’t the only one who felt this. When my band-mate Joe was throwing out a flood light (blue), I said I’d take it. He, without missing a beat: “Five dollars?”

So this bookish fellow come into our house and examines my Heit. See, it was a classic because it was a. used, b. missing a volume knob, and c. missing a tuning peg that needed to be turned with pliers. I was not smart enough to know that “music stores” “sold” “parts” to “guitars”. I thought  was stuck, and that was that. Kind of like when the gas cap to my 1989 Chevy Spectrum rolled off the top and onto the I90 because gas caps (I heard from a guy on the street who claimed to be Paul McCartney’s OTHER Uncle) cost $100-$200. So I never replaced it, and that’s how the Dry Gas companies stayed in business those years.

“How much you want for it?”

I was about to say what I paid for it when mom “shhhh”-ed me and offered up “$100”.

He just look at her with the saddest expression. Like the girl who watched the girl who interviewed Karl Childers. And he shook his head and walked out. No sale. My mother muttered “He’ll be back…” and sauntered off to silently extract a bottle of Old Mr. Boston from its Biriulkian cluster in the hopes that her dejected son didn’t hear the muted clunking under all those week-old hamper-fermented clothes. But alas, he did.

I had heard that Strats and Les Pauls increased in value as the years went on, but you almost never saw Jimmy Page with a pair of pliers on stage. “clk…….clk……clk clk…….thum….thummmm…….clk clk…….(still flat)….thummm……”

All the fun ends tonight. A street is a strip of land adjoining buildings in an urban context, where people may reside, assemble and interact. A road is a strip of land connecting two or more destinations over which people and goods are transported. When a road passes through an urban area it may also serve as a street.


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