I like Charlie Sheen.

Or rather, I’m glad he’s alive and functioning in this realm while I’m here to enjoy it. He is the pure and utter Ubermensch of hedonism. The logical end-game of a society steeped in puritanism and yet unable to shake the voyeuristic Schadenfreude (note to self: visit Germany-get this out of your system) that sugars the blood. I just watched the Piers Morgan interview, and I must say that people need to celebrate this man. He is a drug-taking, whore-fucking, line-remembering, Jon Cryer-make-look-good..ing…culmination of all that this society craves, nay DEMANDS of its stars. Yet he refuses to crumble. He will not apologize. He is what Tiger Woods should have been.

If only more people who live the liberal life could just keep on keepin’ on and give the finger to all those lookie-loos who finger hurriedly through the latest People magazine in search of the latest salacious gossip with one hand and give the old “tut-tut-tut” with the wagging finger on the other. We want this. We need this. We need more of it, if only to move to the next phase in our hero-worshiping star-fucker cultural Petri dish culture.

I see Charlie Sheen as a glimpse of what people imagine Satan to be like. And people are waiting uncomfortably for him to finally repent, like we demand all our flawed icons do, sobbing at our feet, begging for the sweet, vanilla release back into the morass of less ass.

Don’t do it, Charlie Sheen. Don’t give them that. You’re the change we need.

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10 thoughts on “I like Charlie Sheen.

  1. Mark D says:

    I agree. Charlie is simply being real. It is refreshing to watch and I hope those who are offended by him would smell the odor de hypocrisy each of them are wafting about the country.

  2. Agreed! Huzzah to the shopkeep!

  3. yajust says:

    Ol’ Chucky will be dead soon. He’ll be licking up River Phoenix’s vomit from a well-walked Hollywood-esque sidewalk in the hellish netherworld and snowballing it into Haley Paige’s rotting girl-maw.

  4. But in the meantime, it’s still pretty cool to be him. I didn’t think you believed in hell.

  5. yajust says:

    Well, I think he’s in hell right now. It’s pretty clear to see in his interview that he is not happy. And he looks horrible – all the anger, all the stress. He’s seems to be on a one-way train to the great beyond. All aboooooard!

  6. Decapitation, deschmapitation.

  7. Mark D says:

    Charlie looks great and is speaking truth. Only those people trapped by their societal norms can’t wrap their heads around a guy who lives like most men want to live. He is basically the poster boy for those enlightened humans that find ‘normal’ boring and want nothing to do with ‘normal’ or ‘normal’ people.

    BTW.. I have never watched Charlie’s TV show. Since it is the most popular TV show in the USA there is a great chance that the show is utterly stupid and without any redeeming qualities.

  8. It’s what I call faux-funny. The laugh track tells people when to laugh and I think most people are afraid not to think that what the fake laughter is laughing at is funny.

  9. Mark D says:

    Faux-Funny… sorta like half-alive or psuedo-duck confit. Not fun and not worth wasting your time on.

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