Damn this enormous head of mine.

Every time I see a hat I like online or in person, I think “Boy, I’d sure like to be a guy who looks good in a hat…if only my head weren’t so big.” Then I slither back to my reality. The reality of a non-hat-wearing guy.

I don’t like the Indiana Jones hat. I cannot keep track of my ballcaps. My wife bought me one of those conventional felt caps that some of the hep cats wear backwards. But it just doesn’t cover my great big melon. I look like a guy with a black toilet seat on his head.

This is Antonio Martinez.

Antonio in a pakol. Looking good!

See, I’d buy one online (or you know, you could. Just look up “Pakol” on the Amazon Page. I give and give.) but I’m afraid my head would stretch it beyond recognition. Here’s my personal hero, Andy Partridge of XTC wearing one.

Andy's head: Normal size.

Look at that! An Englishman can look good in such a thing. I wish I were as good looking as my pal Andy.

I have one request. Will someone send me a pakol? God, my head is so big. No luck at the thrift store. Never ever is a good fit to be found at WalMart or Target or whatever. Surely they must make hats that look good on a big-headed man like myself. DAMN THIS HUGE HEAD!!!

I feel a sense of dread this morning. Something really bad is gonna happen. I hope I’m wrong.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: